I think A LOT about everything. about how people perceive me. and about who I am in general. and who I want to be. there’s a disparity between the two but I don’t know what exactly it is. I don’t know how to get there and I think I know why. People aren’t honest with each other. I’m sorry if sometimes people don’t like me because I’ll point out when they do/say something offensive/unfounded or just unpleasant. It’s not because I think they should be more like me nor am I suggesting that I am always right and perfect. I am not perfect and nor will I ever be. But I am a firm believer that people don’t improve themselves by just going through life and self-reflections now and then. (constructive) Criticism from friends and family should be welcomed. It’s hard to hear but really why would you get offended? If it’s obvious that they’ve put a lot of time and effort into wording a slight criticism of something they’ve noticed you do that might not be agreeable, they obviously care more than anything. It’s the people that are constantly nice to you and everyone that you need to be wary of. How are you supposed to know if they care about you and want to see you succeed and be the best you can be in life? I don’t know it. Because if I do make a social faux pas, they won’t tell me. 

I’ve just thought about this a lot. I know that people may not like to hear what I say about them but I ALWAYS think about it for weeks before I mention anything and I definitely tread lightly. My aim is not to hurt anyone’s feelings. If I notice they have a habit of always being late or not paying people back in a timely fashion, I’ll tell them because I don’t want them to be miss a job opportunity because they thought they could be 15 minutes late or run into money issues because it slipped their minds to pay a bill. I genuinely care about them and their path in life.

And they know that it’s because I care because if I don’t care, I won’t be your friend. It’s as simple as that. Life is too short to be fake and sugarcoat. If we don’t learn that in college, when are we going to?

a video I made on Home & Moving

I’m going to be honest, I have always wanted to be a know it all. Those people that just know a little about a lot. They contribute to every conversation. And it’s not like AcaDec knowledge—-but they have interesting opinions and interesting things to say about everything. The type of people who know how to play an instrument pretty decently, they can play by ear. They can also play a sport and root for a team. They know about the rules of the game. But they also love history and read books about Greek Mythology and know the main allegories and Greek gods. They may not be religious, but they can have an intelligent, non-offensive conversation about God and faith and their own beliefs. They’re so self-aware it’s unfair. They’s not in a moratorium where they’re looking to find who they are, but they haven’t made any commitments. They know who they are and they’re happy with it. Because they’re awesome.

I’m not that super fucking well rounded person or whatever, but this isn’t to say I’m not happy with who I am. I do have a lot of interests and all that, they’re just not that significant. I don’t think complexly about films and this hotshot director used this directing technique to bring out this underlying mood. I don’t create fast, witty raps about lisps for collegiate poetry slams (and songs encompassing anything and everything).

Every time I do try to write about something I feel strongly about, or something that I want to share with others, I don’t finish because I lose that feeling. I’m fickle. 

Why did I even start to write this? I forget. I was just watching Watsky’s newest video about how he believes everyone can accomplish their greatest dreams with what they have got. And he is SO right. If I invest more time in reading, applying for programs and schools and jobs, being productive and finding my place in life, I would get what I want. The only thing in my way is me. My flaws. I’m fickle. I’m lazy. I’d rather just watch TV or movies. I’d rather just shoot the shit with my friends. 

I want to set more ambitious New Year’s Resolutions, but I don’t want to because I will disappoint myself. And that’s the last person I want to disappoint. I know I won’t get them all done. If I’m being honest, this is what I want to get done this year, but I know half of them won’t happen.

• write a poem. an actual poem about something I can relate to. one I can read aloud and feel truth in. 
• read poetry. read more genres. READ.
• actually change the way I eat and my relationship with food. 
• do something with my guitar. If I’m not going to learn it, sell it! I was so ridiculous to buy it. 
• watch critically acclaimed films. give those films a chance because they’re acclaimed for a reason
• make those small films I’ve wanted to. be them music videos or just montages of life events. 
• get better at taking photos.
• be less internet-dependent. just reduce my time doing the stupid stuff online. 
• don’t buy stuff I don’t need. especially clothes. use what I already have.
• cut out the fat in my life. be that my own fat, the useless youtube videos I watch for NO reason, the TV shows that I don’t really like, the people that I couldn’t care less about, or the food that I eat.
• just be a better me. be able to look back at the Me that’s writing this now and know I’ve changed for good. 

ANTHROPOLOGY? girl i knew you were smart (at Anthropologie)

WIWT

im gonna add some bracelets!!!!!!!

im trying you guys! (kind of)

my fingers are not that stubby wtf

Places: Galveston, Texas (by ofwanderlust)

newest travel video! check it out!

How much I just want to study English. How much trash I produce and where it goes. How much recycling must be done. How many dishes we use. How little time there is for cooking food. How little time there is for anything. How my health goes out the window if there is ANYTHING important/stressful going on in my life. How great 2011 was. How I used to take pictures of everything. How I take pictures of nothing. How photography isn’t a priority but I want it to be. How writing isn’t a priority but I want it to be. How much I don’t want to be in school for four more years. How I’m definitely not getting a PhD anytime soon. How people prioritize their lives. How I prioritize my life. How I just want to drop it all and travel the world with my camera. How I can’t do that because I’m tied down by obligations that aren’t even my own. How I want to meet more people who share these desires. How I want to surround myself with ambitious people who want to go somewhere and do things with their lives. How I’m just a collection of paradoxes too. How I never consider turning my hobbies into my career. How I wish I could.

I’ve become increasingly aware. 

i love this color!!!!!!

a video of me doing the accent challenge. 

this is for campbell.

me and my outfits over the year that i haven’t posted (i think)

[8.20] Final UK Vlog (by ofwanderlust)

A little bid of Edinburgh and a lot of nothing. End of my sojourn in the UK !

hello followers and friends, I started a blog!

if you like interior design or just decorating your room/organizing/storing things/collecting things 

(and especially if you’re in college/going to college/ about to live in a dorm/small apartment)

PLEASE check out my new blog 

college, designed

It would mean the world to me if you followed & spread the word (if you’re on blogspot) 

I just like interior design and I have a lot of easy, super cheap ideas to work with small spaces (especially dorm rooms)

can we just discuss how i looked at the indie movie theatre? yes. cliche outfit is cliche. i also wore blue converse…that i got when i was 10. 

So…I got it. I’m an iphoner now. Uh oh. look out world. 

i have no clue what i’m doing.